August 19, 2008

Mikä näistä käännöksistä on paras?

Kyseessä on Giacomo Leopardin kuuluisa ja kielellisesti sekä vaikea että syvä runo, jota Friedrich Nietzschekin suuresti ihaili - kuten Leopardin runoja yleensä.

Kieli- ja kääntäjäneroille tässä siis pähkinää purtavaksi. Mikä näistä englanninnoksista ilmaisee parhaiten alkuperäisen tekstin atmosfäärin ja interiöörin, jos on lupa käyttää hieman epärunollisia termejä kuvaamaan runon sielunmaisemaa?
*
L'Infinito

Sempre caro mi fu quest'ermo colle
E questa siepe che da tanta parte
De'll ultimo orrizonte il guarde esclude.
Ma sedendo e mirando interminati
Spazi di là da quella, e sovrumani
Silenzi, e profondissima quiete,
Io nel pensier mi fingo, ove per poco
Il cor non si spaura. E come il vento
Odo stormir tra queste piante, io quello
Infinito silenzio a questa voce
Vo comparando; e mi sovvien l'eterno,
E le morte stagioni, e la presente
E viva, e'l suon di lei. Così tra questa
Immensità s'annega il pensier mio:
E'l naufragar m'è dolce in questo mare.

1
Always dear to me was this lonely hill,
And this hedge, which from me so great a part
Of the farthest horizon excludes the gaze.
But as I sit and watch,
I invent in my mindendless spaces beyond,
and superhuman
silences, and profoundest quiet;
wherefore my heart
almost loses itself in fear.
And as I hear the wind
rustle through these plants,
I compare that infinite silence to this voice:
and I recall to mind eternity,
And the dead seasons, and the one present
And alive, and the sound of it. So in this
Immensity my thinking drowns:
And to shipwreck is sweet for me in this sea.

2
I always loved this solitary hill,
This hedge as well, which takes so large a share
Of the far-flung horizon from my view;
But seated here, in contemplation lost,
My thought discovers vaster space beyond,
Supernal silence and unfathomed peace;
Almost I am afraid; then, since I hear
The murmur of the wind among the leaves,
I match that infinite calm unto this sound
And with my mind embrace eternity,
The vivid, speaking present and dead past;
In such immensity my spirit drowns,
And sweet to me is shipwreck in this sea.
And the dead seasons, and the one present
And alive, and the sound of it. So in this
Immensity my thinking drowns:
And to shipwreck is sweet for me in this sea.

3
Always dear to me was this solitary
Hill and this hedge, by which so much of the view
Of the ultimate horizon is excluded.
But sitting, and gazing beyond the boundless
Spaces and the more than human silences
And the profoundest quiet, in my thoughts
I lose myself until the heart is almost
Overwhelmed. And as the wind I hear
Rustle in the hedge I must go on comparing,
And there comes to mind the eternal
And the dead seasons, the present, and the living
About us, the sound they make. So
In such an immensity is my thought drowned
And being shipwrecked is sweetness in this sea.

4
Always dear to me was this most solitary
Of hills, with a hedge that obscured the view
Outward to the ultimate horizon.
Here I would sit and gaze into the boundless
Spaces, sensing the more than human silences,
The profoundest quiet, in my thoughts creating
It until the heart was almost overcome.
I would hear the wind rustling in the hedge
And would go on comparing that to a further voice,
Comes to my mind the eternal and the dead
Seasons When there would come to mind the eternal and
The dead seasons, the present about us, and
The living, and the sound they make.
In That immensity were my thoughts drowned,
And sweetness to be lost in such a sea.

5
Always dear to me was this most solitary
Of hills, this hedge, that of the ultimate
Horizon obscured the view.
I sit and gazeInto untrammeled spaces, sensing there
The profoundest quiet, the falling of a more
Than human silence created by my thoughts.
It almost overwhelms me. Yet with the wind
Rustling in the hedge I must measure it,
That voice to an eternal silence. And then
Would come to mind the eternal and the dead
Seasons, the present and the living among
Us and the noise they make. And into that
Immensity my thoughts would drown, with yet
A sweetness to be lost into that sea.

6
Ever dear to me was this small hill,
The hedgerow round it that obstructs the view
Of boundless distances where the earth and sky
Merge as one. My sitting there, my gazing out
On spaces limitless, unending silence, on
The depths of quietness my thoughts can sense
Undo the heart almost. I hear the wind
Ruffle the hedgerow and I must go on
Balancing an infinite silence with this voice.
So come to mind the eternal and the dead
Seasons, the present and the living, the sound
Of them: immensities in which my thoughts drown,
Though sweet to me the foundering in such sea.
*
http://www.textetc.com/workshop/wt-leopardi-1.html
www.tcm.phy.cam.ac.uk/~mdt26/poems/leopardi1.html
actuspurunen.blogspot.com/2004_11_01_archive.html

5 comments:

Homo Garrulus said...

Kuulin radiossa ohjelman, jossa keskusteltiin mm Albanian tapaa ilmaista "poika heitti pallon" lauseen, joka olisi käännettynä ollut: "poika, se oli hän, joka heitti pallon" eli kääntää katseen subjektiin silloin kun painotus on sitä. Muutenhan voi lauseesta uskoa, että on kyseessä heittämisestä tai pallosta. Nokkelaa ja tarkkaa.

Ruotsinkielessä sanotaan Pojken kastade bollen, joka on samalla lailla ilman painotusta kuten suomenkielikin. Mutta sanonta Bollen kastades av pojken kertoo jo hieman enemmän kuten Albaaniassakin. Suomeksi minun tietääkseni ei voida sanoa Pallo heitettiin pojan toimesta sillä toimesta tuo uuden merkityksen päättämisestä mikä ei esiinny heittämisessä.

Mielenkiintoista. Itse huomasin, että on olemassa avoimuutta tekstissä tai merkkien lukkiutumista: Poika kävelee tiellä on avoin tilanne sillä tiellä on ikäänkuin laidalla tai keskellä tai missä vaan mutta sitä pitkin. Jättää avoimeksi. Mutta ruotsinkielellä sanotaan Pojken går på vägen (tai längs vägen), joka kertoo tarkemmin että hän on suhteessa tien pinnan päällä tai sitä seuraten. Tiellä siis suo lisää vapautta miettiä suhdetta kun på vägen/längs vägen kertoo tarkemmin joko sudetta vertikaalisesti tai horisontaalisesti. Tiellä ei siis osoita mitään paikkaa tai liikettä. Käveleminen yksin hoitaa sen.

Homo Garrulus said...

Osaispa kieliä mutta tuo kysymys kertoo ainakin sen, että ns. selvästi sanottu on monta asiaa koko ajan.
Depends on what you have in mind.

ninni said...

Kutonen on ehka helpompi ymmartaa ihmisen
but always dear to me was this ...lonely...
ei se italiaksikaan modernilla kiella ihan noin ol
horisonttiin tuijotteleminen ainakin minulla kuuluu tiettyihin tilanteisiin, en tieda jaksaisko sita olohuoneesta
tiedan etta tama runo on Sinulle raka

. said...

good bye**

Homo Garrulus said...

Vapaakävelijät. Ulkona taas. "Hej hej små vänner; tillbaka till mumindalen och alla små hattifnattar".

Mumimamma har bakat paj, allt är bra små gullevänner. Allt är bra.